DDR Turk Party
by KukaruiValentine
Summary: Another Turk Party, another idea given to me by the great woman Zeng Li! Read and be sure to watch as Reno's face changes colors magically before your very eyes!


_Another Turks Party! _

_Reno is still throwing crazy parties. This one is another one from KukaruiValentine. This one has a theme that seems interesting to me, because I like Dance Dance Revolution, so this party's theme is DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION PARTY! (Believe it or not, there is no Beth in this one, I am staying within the ACTUAL characters (AH! Check my pulse, will ya?)) Reno ends up as several different colors, red, blue, yellow, green, purple, plaid, striped, burgundy, puke green and many...many others. (Okay, okay not all of them, just most of the colors... and what else can I say, but SURFS UP DUDE!)_

_Reno: We have got to stop her..._

_Tseng: Tell me about it._

_Beth: Do the disclaimer thing!_

_Reno: She doesn't own any of the Turks or Final Fantasy VII characters, SquareEnix has that privilege..._

_Beth: And they can have 'em!_

Reno had sent out invitations early on Thursday morning, and those said invitations told the guests that this will be a normal 'Reno' party. He had told them on the invitations that they should wear some comfortable, cool clothes. This scared his boss, one Tseng Wulong, who sat in his office at a quarter 'til five on the following Friday, thinking about that night's party.

Just as Tseng was thinking about what to wear that would be 'comfortable' to the party, there was a knock on his office door. It was his party buddy and the person he drove to most of these shindigs, Daniel Reeve.

"Hello Daniel" Tseng said, stacking papers and organizing his desk so he would be ready for work on Monday at exactly six o' one.

"Hello Tseng." Daniel said, "What do you think the party's theme is tonight?"

"I don't think I want to know..." Tseng said, grabbing his suit's jacket off of the back of his chair and putting it on. "All I know is that we have to wear something comfy."

Daniel showed Tseng his bag, "I know..."

"You brought yours too?" Tseng said, grabbing his overnight bag, where he had brought his clothes to change into.

"Yeah, can I change in your bathroom? Reno is trying to towel-snap everyone in the shower room again."

Tseng nodded, "Sure, I have to go turn in these reports to Rufus and then I'll come back and change..." Tseng grabbed a bunch of folders and walked out of the room. When he returned to his office a few minutes later, Reeve was folding his clothes and putting them into his bag. Daniel was wearing a pair of lime green jogging pants and a white tee shirt with a chibi chocobo on it that said 'Kawai.' It was all Tseng could do not to snicker as he grabbed his pair of red basketball shorts and his blue shirt that said something vulgar in Wutanese on it. He walked into his private shower to change.

He came out of the shower and looked at Reeve. Tseng had a strong, very masculine shaped body and the outfit showed it. He looked at Daniel and nodded, "Are you ready for hell?"

Reeve nodded, "I am as ready as I am going to be at any time."

Less than five minutes later, Tseng was tearing through upper Midgar in his black sports car, and as usual, Tseng had a total disregard for the rules and regulations of the road. Daniel clutched to the side of the door and closed his eyes.

"I hope that it isn't another one of his 'Drag Queen' parties..." Tseng said, taking a sharp turn at full speed.

"I hope we live to see the party!" Reeve said as yet another pissed off driver gave Tseng the finger.

"Oh, you just don't understand how I drive..." Tseng said.

"I don't want to understand how you dr..." Reeve jumped as Tseng flew through a yellow light, and brakes screeched around him. "I...I think I should drive every now and then..."

"No way dude, you drive like my great-grand-mama Datakou drove her old pack mule." Tseng said, pulling onto the parking lot of Reno's apartment complex.

"I do not, I merely follow the rules of the road and regard my own personal safety AND the speed limit." Reeve said as he got out of the car. He looked at the seat, no, the thought, hadn't pissed my pants this time.

Tseng held his breath and walked up to the apartment. "I wonder what he has in store for me THIS time." Tseng said as he stood at the door, ready to open it up.

"I know I can't wait." Reeve said, grinning happily, "Go ahead and open the door."

Tseng sighed and reached his hand around the doorknob, ready as he'd ever be for Reno's attack. As soon as he pulled the door back, he was hit by... bubbles?

"Bubbles Reno?" Tseng said, poking at the floating orbs as they floated by his head. "Really, you are losing your touch..."

Reno just grinned, there was something up his sleeve, and these weren't normal bubbles.

Tseng popped one and suddenly discovered that they were not typical four year olds bubbles they use in the tub. They were stink bubbles that Hojo was working on as a prank gift. "RENO!"

Elena, who was sitting on the couch, that was moved closer to the pool table, covered her nose, "RENO THOSE ARE RANK!" She said, almost knocking over her beer.

Rude and Rufus were mad because they couldn't play pool as well, Reno had moved the pool table to make room for two large plastic things in the middle of the floor.

"Reno, may I ask you why you have two garbage bags taped to the floor?" Reeve said, stepping past the foul smelling Tseng.

"Reeve, open up your eyes, those are Dance Dance pads." Reno said, handing Reeve a beer. "It's a game."

"I know that it's a game, but why are these in your apartment?" Reeve said. Tseng was turning red in the face.

"Reno..." Tseng said. "Can I... go clean up?"

"Tseng, it smells better already, it's the newer stink bubble, temporary scent." Reno said.

"Yeah, Tseng..." Rude said, while Rufus sank the nine ball in the side pocket without him noticing, "it's smelling better already."

Tseng sighed and grabbed a beer, swearing that Reno would be getting it later in the night. He sat on the couch with Elena.

"You smell like a flower..." Elena said.

"Yeah, the skunk from Bambi" Tseng said, taking a long drink from his beer.

"Guys, come over and play this game..." Reno said, turning it on, the television screen came to life with the DDR screen.

"No Reno, we just want to have a good, quiet party." Tseng said.

But, Reno shoved a fish bowl with tiny papers in it, and the fish and water, towards Rude. "Come on, oh bald one... you first."

"Don't use the 'b' word..." Rude said, grabbing a paper. "Uh... It says 'Only You..."

"Good... then, shall we dance?" Reno said, setting it up. Rude looked at the plastic dance pad, confused.

"Dude, just follow the arrows." Reno said, pointing at the blue and red arrows on the floor.

Rude sighed and closed his eyes, just as the screen started the music.

The others got a good laugh out of the deal, Reno lost, and Rude didn't do such a good job either.

"Darn! Lost!" Reno said, as he started to remove his shirt.

"Oh no you don't..." Tseng grabbed him by the back of the shirt. "We are not going to play Strip DDR!"

"Party pooper, come on up Boss-man, dance with me!" Reno smiled, "I know the perfect song for you!"

Tseng sighed, then smiled happily, "Okay, what song is it?" Tseng pushed Rude off the dance pad and stood on the pad.

"It's called 'Ethnic Exotic.'" Reno smiled, "Should be right up your alley!"

"Oh my... you don't know when to stop Reno, Tseng is going to kill you!" Elena said, happily reaching for another beer.

"I can do it El... don't worry about me, I'd be more worried about Reno here..." Tseng said.

"Okay boss, just don't go all 'Ceremonial Dance on my ass..." Reno laughed.

Tseng shot him a dirty scowl as the music began.

After the song, poor Reno was gasping for air. Tseng smiled. "That was easy..."

"Okay, shut up Boss, who's next?" Reno said, glaring around the room. "How about Rufus?"

Tseng glared at Reno, "Not the Vice President..."

Rufus jumped up and stood next to Reno on the dance pad. "What song, Reno?"

"How about 'It's raining men?" Reno giggled.

"Yeah, just what I want to see, two fairies dancing the same thing at the same time." Elena said, still slightly drunk.

Tseng looked at her, "Elena!"

Elena just laughed.

Rude looked at Tseng, "Hey, Boss... lets' get Reno back..."

Tseng was all ears, "How so?"

"See that pad thing? It slips a little... if we pulled it both at the same time." Rude smiled as the music began and both men began to dance.

Tseng liked that idea... maybe a little too much. Both men snuck behind Reno and grabbed onto an end of the dance pad.

"One..." Rude was mouthing, "Two..."

Tseng tightened his grip on the plastic.

"THREE!" Both men yelled and tugged, just as Reno was coming down from a jump. His feet followed the dance pad, and his face planted into the carpet just inches from his video game machine.

Elena almost lost it, laughing so hard she almost spewed her beer. Reeve broke out into giggles and even Rufus started laughing so hard that he almost fell over. Rude and Tseng were left holding the dance pad, laughing heartily.

Reno jumped up in a rage, his face almost as red as his hair from a mixture of rug burn and anger. "What did you two do that for?"

"Be careful guys, he's getting so angry he's mashing his English up, not using proper grammar!" Elena said, laughing and falling off the couch, which caused everyone, including Reno, to burst out in another roar of laughter.

Elena finally gotten up from the floor just as the others had calmed down. Reno still was sour at Rude and Tseng, but when he attempted to retaliate, he was caught by Rude around the throat.

"Hey-a... Rude, buddy, I wasn't going to try to do anything...just...er..." Reno had started to turn an interesting shade of blue. It was really pretty with the red from the rug burn from earlier. Rude held him up against the wall until Tseng told Rude to release him, for Reno's health.

"Are you guys hungry?" Reno said, rubbing his sore neck. Tseng knew that Reno would try to take half the week off.

"I am." Rufus said, hoping that Reno had some real food in his apartment this time, not just all the junk food that they were use to.

"I am not going to eat squid again Reno!" Reeve said, making Tseng think of a possible party that he could throw in the future, at his own place.

"Don't worry, I am ordering pizzas from Mario Zatini's place down close to Sector 2." Reno said. "What does everyone want on their pizza?"

Elena took a sip of her beer, "I want green peppers and mushrooms."

Reeve smiled, "I like that too but also want sausage."

"Mushrooms and pepperoni for me." Rude said.

Rufus stuck out his tongue, "Nah, go for the classic, triple cheese."

Tseng nodded, "I want pineapple and ham."

Reno glared at Tseng, "I said no funny stuff boss."

"Yeah, yeah, it isn't that bad." Tseng said, grabbing his third beer.

"Okay, okay, I'm going to order a ton of food. One large triple cheese, one large with mushrooms and green peppers, one with mushrooms, peppers and sausage, one with mushrooms and pepperoni, and one with... ugh, pineapple and ham." Reno said, heading towards the phone.

"Hey, Reno... what about you?" Reeve said.

"Oh, I like meat lovers." Reno said, dialing the number.

"That's because he IS a 'meat lover' isn't he Reeve?" Rufus said, causing Reeve to turn a bright shade of red.

"Yes, all of those pizzas, bread sticks, an triple order of cheesy sticks. Yes, that is for delivery." Reno was saying, shooting Rufus a very dirty look. He then hung up the phone and turned on his heels. "That'll be 74 gil and it should arrive in about half an hour."

"What? No 'We'll be there in half an hour or its free' shit?" Rude said, setting up the balls on the pool table for him and Rufus to play another game. "What kind of party are you running here?"

"A half-assed Reno party if you ask me." Tseng said, taking a deep drink of his beer.

"OH YEAH?" Reno yelled, glaring at the others around the room. "I'll show you all!" And with that, Reno disappeared down his hallway and slammed his bathroom door.

"Is he going to be alright? I mean, Reno's lost his ability to hold his liquor or what?" Elena said.

"I know, but I think he is sick. I think that he is up to something..." Reeve said.

"Oh boy, can't wait." Rude said as Rufus broke the balls on the table, sending them sprawling, some into pockets. One of balls, the eight ball, flew off the table and smacked Reeve right between the legs.

"Yes! I get double points for that trick shot!" Rufus said, as Reeve screeched and fell to the floor, holding his most private of spots.

Tseng glared at the vice president, wondering if harming the young boy would be worth the risk of being killed by the President. "Sir!"

Rude, Elena and Rufus were all laughing. Poor Reeve was in the fetal position, red faced, on the floor.

Finally, the group settled down enough for people to talk. Elena stood up and looked around. "Guys, I am really worried about Reno... listen, I hear water running..."

"Don't worry about him!" Rufus said, attempting to recreate his latest shot, this time, the cue ball ricochet off the side and flew, smacking Rude right between the eyes. Rude fell over with a loud thud, just as a tree would fall in the forest.

"I am going to go check on him just the same." Elena said, walking down the hallway towards the bathroom.

"SURFS UP!" Reno said as Elena opened the door to a wave of water. Reno had flooded his bathroom and was riding a wave on his ironing board.

"AH!" Elena yelled loudly and ducked, only to be nearly drown by the six foot wall of water.

Reno rode his 'surf board' until the wave dispersed, almost to his living room. Elena stood by the bathroom, drenched to the bone. "RENO!"

"Uh, don't have a cow dude!" Reno said, picking up the ironing board. "That was fun! I am going to do it again!"

"That was amazing..." Rude said.

"What? The wave?" Tseng asked.

"No, I didn't know that Reno actually had an ironing board to his name!" Rude said, smiling.

Everyone, even Elena, laughed at that, and nobody noticed Reno running back to the bathroom for his second 'wave.'

"I'm sorry Tseng!" Rufus said, trying not to get in the way of the now pissed off Turk. "I didn't mean it!"

"Stop with that 'trick shot' shit!" Tseng said, holding his bleeding nose. "Or I will shove that pool cue up your ass and your father will applaud me for disciplining you, you little spoiled brat!"

"It's just a mixture of the booze and that bump talking..." Elena said, wringing out her hair. Reno's water was hard, and she had felt just how hard it could get.

"Yeah, and I am probably so drunk that I won't remember either!" Rufus said, setting up his pool cue against the side wall.

"Let's turn on some music... it just isn't a Reno-party without the poor neighbors shitting in their depends!" Rude said, laughing about a comment Reno made about 'dependable' undergarments.

"Where is Reno anyways?" Elena said as Rude walked over to the huge stereo system. Nose-bleed-inducing, ear-splitting, eye-crossing, bladder-weakening, headache-inducing, hard punk metal rock insued as soon as Rude hit the little yellow 'power' button.

"I have no idea where he is...wait... did he go back into the bathroom?" Tseng said as the windows began to rattle and small chunks of plaster fell off the ceiling. Tseng glared around, not finding the room free of Reno. He sighed and took off towards the hallway.

"Tseng! No, don't do it!" Rude screamed, following his boss down the hall. "You know what is going to happen as soon as you open that door!"

"Exactly... that's why we are going to let Rufus do it." Tseng said as soon as he was out of earshot of the others.

"What do you mean?" Rude said, looking oddly at the other man.

"Well, watch this!" Tseng slammed the hallway door, then he winked at Rude and yelled, "RENO!"

That got the others attention, but they were expecting to see another tsunami of water coming towards them in a residents. But no water came, instead Tseng came running down the slightly soggy hallway. "Reno isn't in the bathroom, where is he?"

Rufus looked happy, "I am so glad he isn't in there, I have to piss like a Nimbelhiem race chocobo!" Rufus, the esteemed Vice President of Shin-Ra, raced down the hall, and walked right into a nasty trap.

Tseng giggled, he couldn't help it, it was too perfect. Rude laughed as soon as the young boy walked off down the hallway.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Rufus came running at full speed out of the hallway, right in front of the gigantic wave that Reno, of course, was perched on top of.

Rufus made it all the way to the sliding glass door, but his nose found it to be closed, as did the rest of his body as it followed at full speed.

Reno sighed, his newest wave was bigger than the last one, this time he ended up on top of the pool table. Elena lifted her feet to avoid the last traces of moisture, Reeve had fled to the kitchen in order to avoid the dangerous tidal wave. Rude and Tseng, who thought it funny, were now as soggy as the carpet in the hallway. Tseng's immaculate outfit was now limp, and Rude was beyond just wet.

Reno jumped off the ironing board and smiled, then ran into the kitchen. Rude was paralyzed by the feeling of cold water on his skin and didn't move.

Reno ran back into the living room and plastered Rude's hair with something.

"Reno...what is that?" Elena said as the green gloopy stuff dripped down the side of Rude's head.

"It's the stuff that came with my new Chia-pet." Reno smirked.

Rude felt his head, only to find grass was now growing where his bald pride and joy had been only moments before. Rude removed his sunglasses, which he always wore, and looked at Reno.

Reno's smug look slowly disappeared as the red-head moved quickly to what he thought was a safer place, outside.

Right into the pizza boy, who was right on time. Reno skid to a stop, right before slamming into the poor man, but not before flipping over the railings of his second story apartment and falling into the freshly cut grass below.

Rufus paid for the food and Tseng helped him bring it into the room. Elena grabbed some plates from the kitchen and Reeve helped Tseng organize the pizzas.

Reno hobbled in, bright green grass stains on his face from the cut grass. He ran and grabbed two slices from each pizza.

Rude was eating some pizza, and his grass-hair was really starting to bother him.

"Rude, is your new 'do bothering you?" Reno said happily munching on some sausage and pepper pizza.

"Yeah..." Rude said, throwing his pizza down and heading outside.

"What's the matter, Rude?" Tseng said, just as the door slammed.

"Ah, he's probably going to use my neighbors' weed wacker on his thick skull.

"Reno, that was so unfair, that isn't right!" Elena said, grabbing another slice of pizza.

"Yeah? Isn't he the one that is always wanting hair? I just helped my friend out!" Reno sneered at the rest of the party.

Elena threw her pizza at him, causing him to see red, er, and yellow, and green... all at the same time.

"OW! It's hot, it's hot! It's sooooooooooo hot!" Reno dug into the pizza, trying to remove all of the scalding hot toppings and sauce from his face. When he suceeded, he had no eyebrows left on his face.

"Hey, Tseng! Can I call a sick day for this injury?" Reno said, slopping the now cooler toppings at Reeve, who ducked.

"No, Reno, you may not call in sick for that, it's not a personal injury, it's a vanity thing, completely cosmetic." Tseng said.

"What? Well, look who's been reading medical magizines!" Reno huffed, throwing a few empty beer bottles into the trash.

"Reno?" Elena asked, "I'm sorry... but this party still isn't Reno...what's wrong?"

"Oh? Come on, Elena... I'll show you a good time..." Reno said, taking her by the hand, making her drop the rest of her pizza and beer.

"Oh no, there he goes Reeve, he is hitting on the rookie!" Rufus said.

"I don't wanna know." Reeve said.

Just a few moments later, Reeve heard the water in the bathroom turn on. Then a few more minutes before Reno asked.

"Ready Elena?"

"Ready!" came the response, slightly drown out by the water that was held back by the poor door.

Reno ripped back the door and Elena let out a screeching yell of excitement.

Reeve looked around desperately, trying to find a place to hide from the insuring wave, but found none. Rufus opened the window as a way for the wave, bigger than any of the others, to exit. Rude clung to Tseng, who, due to the other man's size, was trapped.

Reno had miscalculated the size and velocity of the wave, he was swept right along with it.

The wave splashed down the hallway, bowling over Rude and Tseng, bringing them along for the ride. Then it caught up Reeve, who only got a small gasp out before he was swept under. Rufus tried to save the remainder of the pizza, but it got swept up as well, and so did Rufus. Rufus' idea to open the window was their downfall. Elena rode on the gigantic wave right over all of her coworkers, pizza and consequently, right out the open window.

Reno woke up first, laying on a extremely soggy sodded yard, surrounded by sopping wet Turks and pizza.

Rude held his head, "Reno...what made you do that?"

Tseng shot him a dirty look. "That was uncalled for."

Rufus laughed, "That was FUN!"

Elena laughed harder than Rufus did, "Now that is what I called a Reno-party!"

Everyone shared a good belly laugh, while the neighbors glanced at the drunken Turks out their windows.

"Okay, now that my apartment is washed, shall we call it a party?" Reno said, standing up and wringing out his hair.

"Just what I thought!" Tseng said, standing up, then he helped Elena up.

Rufus stood up, still giggling drunkenly, and helped Reeve up, and it took all four of them to help Rude up. As soon as Rude stood up, everyone fell over again.

"Hmmmm...sausage!" Reno said as he got up again, a slice of soggy sausage pizza plastered on his face.

"Go to bed Reno, we are going to come over and help you clean up tomorrow..." Rude said.

So Reno gave up and went inside his soggy apartment.

Rude took Rufus home, Reeve hitched a ride with them, because a not-so-drunk Tseng was being hit on, severely, but a drunken Elena.

Tseng smiled and wrapped his soggy arm around Elena, "Come on, I have a nice hot shower where you can sober up some."

Elena giggled and followed him home.


End file.
